Self-love is quite overly used word in today’s society… It sounds somewhat cliché and obvious, yet it has so much more in its deep meaning that people don’t really talk about in detail.
So, what is self-love anyway? It seems quite self-explaining, the word “self” and the word “love”. What is more complicated than that? You just have to love yourself, right? That’s what most people would think when they first hear the word “self-love”. The million dollar question is not if you love yourself, but rather how do you really love yourself?
As you start to think more about self-love, you can’t help but to realize that it had so much more to it. There are tons of steps and rules to follow in order to really love and keep loving yourself. There are so many tips and technology out there nowadays that can actually improve your looks so much; but if you want to focus on your inner happiness, nothing and no one can make your heart beautiful other than yourself. If you want to love yourself 100% inside & out, then this blog is for you. So are you curious how I started to love myself, and how I love myself so much now that nothing can change it?
A few years ago, I would not be able to say I love myself so much. I had extreme low self esteem and I thought no matter what I did it wouldn’t be good enough. I tried too hard to be perfect; but then, I realized that the more I tried to be perfect, the more I felt differently. Most of us go through such phase in our lives where we would feel so lost and have hard time finding out who we are.
As mentioned in my previous blogs, I did a lot of research on self improvement and self growth because I wanted to become a more positive person and I’m glad to say that I finally succeeded in really loving myself….
So at first, I tried to follow tips from some positive life influencers on social media. Most of them had the same message: love yourself, just think that you are beautiful, think you are enough, etc. You’ve surely heard the same; but today I won’t be talking to you guys about those same tips. Instead, what I am going to talk about is how you can REALLY start to love yourself.
The very first and important step you have to take is to accept yourself for who you are, especially your weaknesses. I would encourage you guys to look at yourself in the mirror or just relax and lay down. Once you are nice and cozy, start thinking about your life so far and reflect on your past experiences. What affected you the most? What made you happy? What were your saddest and happiest moments? What crushed you? You also should think about your true personality, your strength & weaknesses and tastes. I don’t believe that you can really love yourself without truly knowing who you are. Some people want others to understand and know them better while they don’t even really understand or know themselves…
Once you accept yourself for who you are, you then have to start correcting your shortcomings. We were not born with life instructions. We learn who we are by all the life experiences we gain. Imagine yourself as the main character of a book, and other people in your life are the rest of the characters in the same book. Everything and everyone around you are part of your life that made you became who you are today. Everything in life that we go through teaches us about ourselves. Our life is like our own story; we can read our own life story and learn about us.
You cannot love yourself without liking your own story. So the very first step is to reflect on your life experiences so far. Write down your strength and weaknesses; write down everything about yourself such as what you like to eat, what you hate, what you love, what achievements you had in your life, what traumas you had, etc.
Once you made the list, read it through because it will really open up your heart. You will finally feel like you know yourself better than ever before.
Figuring out who you are should be followed by loving your experiences and accepting all the things that you have went through so far. Know that everything you have experienced in life so far made you the way you are today.
So enjoy all the little details in life, be grateful for being alive. Every day is truly a gift, try to do something that nourishes your mind and body whether it’s exercising or reading a good book. Try to do something positive each day to improve yourself, and only try to think about things that can inspire you to do something good every day. What I have learned from self-love is that, after I chose to accept myself, I am more loving towards my families and friends too. I love myself so much that I only keep people around me who are good for my soul. Self love can be very addictive. I am going to warn you because once you decide to love yourself and improve your health; you will not tolerate anything that affects your inner peace.
“I am new here. To this self love. To this not changing for anyone, sort of kind and pure love. And I am never leaving. My heart is overflowing.” -Alison Malee
When you can finally love yourself, your heart will be at peace. When you love yourself, you will never want to not love yourself again. I hope you guys can give it a try and let me know if it worked for you. In my future blogs, I will be telling you guys more in details on what you can do to have a self-love or self-care routine and tips to keep up a positive lifestyle & mindset.
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